Laws of nature

These are the unavoidable laws of the natural
universe...

1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become
coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or
you'll have to pee.

2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will
roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of probability: The probability of being
watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of
your act.

4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy signal.

5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were
late for work because you had a flat tire, the very
next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic
lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster
than the one you are in now. (works every time).

7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in
water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting
someone you know increases when you are with someone
you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone
that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of bouncingly: The severity of the itch is
inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats
are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of
hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something
which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two
people in a locker room, they will have adjacent
lockers.

14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an
open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a
floor covering are directly correlated to the newness,
color and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you
are.

16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if
you don't know what you are talking about.

17. Browns Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

19. Wilkins Law: As soon as you find a product that
you really like, they will stop making it.